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When the Older Siblings go Back to School

TheNanny612 — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 18:50:36 +0000

It is back to school season. It can be a very exciting and nerve-racking
time for students heading back to school. But, what about the younger siblings
left at home? This is a trying time for them as well. There are quite a lot
of feelings that could be going through them at this time. It can range from
stress and anxiety to even excitement.

Keep in mind that any change in routine or structure can mess young toddlers
and preschoolers up. Children love structure. And structure gives your child
something they can count on.

This time doesn’t have to be full of anxiety. Here are some ways to make the
transition easier.

7 Ways to Make Transition Easier when Older Siblings Go Back to School

Have a Plan - Knowing that the first day of school
might be difficult on the younger child is half the battle. Planning
out what you are going to do to ease there discomfort is the other half.
Write down your concerns and what you think would ease your child’s
worries. You know your child better than anyone else. What do you think
will make this time easier? What are his or her hobbies? How will you
and your child spend the school days together until the older siblings
come home? Having a plan will make this time not only easier on the
child, but easier for you as well.

Start Preparing your Child Early – Yes, we know this time
can be scary. But, what is even scarier for a child is not being prepared
for change when it happens. So, start preparing the younger child for the
fact that the older children will be starting school soon. Ask the child how
he or she feels about it. Let the child know that everything will be okay
and what your plans will be for the day when the older children are at school.
Your child will find comfort in knowing what’s ahead.
Start your child taking Lessons that coincide with their older siblings
going to school – One of the feelings that your youngest child might
be feeling is jealousy. Your child might be jealous in the fact that the older
children will be heading to school to learn. Why not have your youngest child
start a class of his or her own. There are tons of lessons your little one
can take. What does your little one want to learn? What are his or her interests?
Check out your local YMCA, JCC or Community Center for Lessons. Your child
will love the fact that they can learn something new too.
Do something daily just the two of you – One nice thing
about having the older children away at school is that there is much more
time for you and your little one. This is a great time to spend quality time
together. One
on one time with your child can really deepen your relationship with them.
Let your child know that you are looking forward to doing something special
together. Sit down with your youngest and come up with some ideas of how you
are going to spend this time together. Don’t be surprised if your little one
is no longer scared and sad about the older children going off to school…..
but instead these feelings are replaced with excitement. Your younger child
will probably be thrilled to have some alone time with you.
Realize the feelings that the child left behind might be feeling
– There are a ton of feelings your youngest might be feeling about the older
siblings going off to school. Be prepared for them and it will make this transition
for you and the younger child easier. Some of the feelings your youngest might
be feeling are…
- Fear
- Anxiety
- Sadness
- Excitement
- Stress
- Worry
- Loneliness
And these are just some of the many, many feelings your child might be
feeling. Make the transition easier by talking with your youngest child
about their older siblings going off to school. Let them know whatever feelings
they are having about it are understandable and that they can always come
to you with whatever they are feeling and you will help get them through
it.
Plan the Days out for your Little one – Children love structure
and don’t like change. When older children go to school and leave the littlest
one at home that is a change of structure for your little one. It is very
scary. Adding structure back into their life will help your little one feel
more secure and less stressed during this transition. They love to know what
they could expect next. So, plan away….. and include your youngest one in
the planning process. It will get them more excited about the time to come.
Start a School for your Child at Home – Your child might
feel left out when the older children go back to school. Why not start them
in a school of their own as well. There are Preschool Curriculums out their
that are perfect for teaching your young Preschooler at home. Just make sure
to choose the right Preschool
Curriculum for your Child. And, don’t forget to name the School. Giving
your at home school a name will make it more official and special for your
little one.

Yes, this time can be very stressful and sad for your little one, but it doesn’t
have to be. With a little planning and preparing it can be a happy and
exciting transition for your little one.

Top image by Pink
Sherbet

Preparing Your Child To Start Preschool

TheNanny612 — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 02:32:42 +0000

No parent is ever
ready for the day that their child goes off to preschool. But
that doesn’t mean that your preschooler can’t be ready. Even if
you’re nervous about the separation, you should do your best to make sure
that your child is prepared to head off to preschool when the time is right.
You want to do well as a parent and part of this means giving your child the
tools to go off on his own, even if it’s just for a few hours at preschool.
And by preparing your child both educationally and emotionally for the preschool
experience, you’ll help to quell your own fears about the situation.

Here are
some of the things that you need to do when preparing your child to start preschool:

Get
your child used to following directions by using them regularly in your
home.
Use simple one-step directions first (such as “brush your teeth”).
Then incorporate a second step (such as “brush your teeth and
then get in bed”). Over time, your preschooler will get used to
following directions and this will make doing so in preschool easier.
Involve
your child in a play group or other social activity.
Your preschooler is going to need to learn to share items, take turns
and otherwise interact with children so make sure that you’ve
given him the skills to do so.

Know
where your child should be academically. Your preschooler doesn’t
have to be right on track or ahead of the game, but you should have some basic
child development knowledge of where other kids of the same age are going
to be. This varies depending on the age that your child enters preschool but
can be figured out by checking out basic parenting books on development. Help
your child reach an average academic place before sending him off to preschool
so that he doesn’t start at a disadvantage.
Point out the
ways in which your child is growing up and make it a point to say
that preschool is a big kid thing. This way, your child will be proud
and excited about preschool, not scared.
Purchase
some special preschool items that your child gets to use only when going to
preschool.
A backpack, lunchbox, set of crayons … these small things that are for
school only can help with the transition to preschool.
Use a
schedule at home since your child will be on a schedule in preschool.
Have a playtime, a nap time, a video time, and an outside time that are basically
the same every day. The routine itself may be different in preschool but the
process of getting used to a routine won’t be new.

And of course, the
most important thing about preparing your child to start preschool is that you
have to prepare yourself. Even parents who are eager to return to work
feel a twinge of regret when it’s time to send kids to preschool. It’s
a change that breeds fear. But if you are overly anxious about it, your child
will pick up on that and the transition to preschool will be more difficult.
Trust that you’ve prepared your child for preschool and rest easy in that
knowledge.

Technorati Tags:preschool, pre-k, kids, children, education, learning

How To Cope With Your Child’s Separation Anxiety

TheNanny612 — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:00:38 +0000

Separation anxiety
is a very real problem for parents of young children. It can be especially difficult
for parents who spend most of their time with their kids, making less use of
daycare and school programs than the average parent. Your kids get used to spending
time with you and then panic when they aren’t with you. But in order for
them to grow up with healthy emotional attachments, they must learn to overcome
their separation anxiety, and of course you have to be the one who teaches them
how to do that.

The first
thing that you need to realize is that a good portion of your child’s
separation anxiety may be coming from you. It’s never easy to leave
your kids somewhere that you can’t keep an eye on them so you probably
have mixed emotions (at best) every time that you do it. But your kids
know this and if you’re conveying fear about leaving them, they’re
going to pick up on that fear and internalize it. Dealing with how you
feel about leaving your kids, including making sure that you’re
truly leaving them with people and situations that are comfortable for
you, is the first step in coping with your child’s separation anxiety.
The feeling which often comes up other than fear is guilt about leaving
your child. If your child knows that you feel bad about leaving, he or
she will manipulate that feeling to his or her advantage as much as possible.
Getting a grasp on your guilt prevents this awkward power play.

Okay, so you’ve
dealt with your feelings and you think that you’re okay with leaving your
child somewhere for a little while, but then you get there and he or she starts
throwing a tantrum and you want to offer comfort. You need to remember that
separation anxiety is a normal part of a child’s development and that
you’re there to help him or her learn to get over it. Teaching the child
about appropriate separation will help him or her build healthy relationships.
But you want to do this in the appropriate manner and offering comfort is definitely
appropriate. The main way that you can do this is by being very clear about
when your child can expect you to return and then being consistent in returning
on time. If your child is staying with a babysitter and you plan to pick him
or her up right after afternoon snack, time that in advance with the babysitter
and then explain to your child that you will be back at that time. Then show
up. This will show your child that you can be counted on to be back when you
say you will and ease separation anxiety in the future.

Finally, make use
of tricks and games to make the entire process easier while you and your child
both learn to cope with separation anxiety. There are little thing that you
can do that remind both of you that you’ll be back together again shortly.
For example, you can buy inexpensive little bracelets, one for you and one for
your child. Trade bracelets when you drop your child off somewhere and let him
or her know that you’ll each get your own bracelet back when you pick
him or her up again. Looking at the bracelet throughout the day will remind
both of you that you’ll be back together soon and the act of trading will
reassure your child that you’ll be back later. Little tricks like this
are beneficial to both of you.

Remember that learning
to cope with separation anxiety is a process. It’s not going to be easy
to let your child go off in to the world and you’re going to have different
stages of this process to go through at different times. It’ll happen
the first time that you drop your baby off with the babysitter, the day that
your child makes the transition from home school to public school, and the day
he or she goes off on that first sleepover, first date and other “firsts”.
Learning to deal with your feelings about it and to communicate to your child
that you’ll always be there in the end is the way to deal with this process
all throughout his or her lifetime.

Technorati Tags:separation anxiety, toddlers, preschoolers, kids, children, parenting