ABC Home Preschool Blog » behavior issues

When the Older Siblings go Back to School

TheNanny612 — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 18:50:36 +0000

It is back to school season. It can be a very exciting and nerve-racking
time for students heading back to school. But, what about the younger siblings
left at home? This is a trying time for them as well. There are quite a lot
of feelings that could be going through them at this time. It can range from
stress and anxiety to even excitement.

Keep in mind that any change in routine or structure can mess young toddlers
and preschoolers up. Children love structure. And structure gives your child
something they can count on.

This time doesn’t have to be full of anxiety. Here are some ways to make the
transition easier.

7 Ways to Make Transition Easier when Older Siblings Go Back to School

Have a Plan - Knowing that the first day of school
might be difficult on the younger child is half the battle. Planning
out what you are going to do to ease there discomfort is the other half.
Write down your concerns and what you think would ease your child’s
worries. You know your child better than anyone else. What do you think
will make this time easier? What are his or her hobbies? How will you
and your child spend the school days together until the older siblings
come home? Having a plan will make this time not only easier on the
child, but easier for you as well.

Start Preparing your Child Early – Yes, we know this time
can be scary. But, what is even scarier for a child is not being prepared
for change when it happens. So, start preparing the younger child for the
fact that the older children will be starting school soon. Ask the child how
he or she feels about it. Let the child know that everything will be okay
and what your plans will be for the day when the older children are at school.
Your child will find comfort in knowing what’s ahead.
Start your child taking Lessons that coincide with their older siblings
going to school – One of the feelings that your youngest child might
be feeling is jealousy. Your child might be jealous in the fact that the older
children will be heading to school to learn. Why not have your youngest child
start a class of his or her own. There are tons of lessons your little one
can take. What does your little one want to learn? What are his or her interests?
Check out your local YMCA, JCC or Community Center for Lessons. Your child
will love the fact that they can learn something new too.
Do something daily just the two of you – One nice thing
about having the older children away at school is that there is much more
time for you and your little one. This is a great time to spend quality time
together. One
on one time with your child can really deepen your relationship with them.
Let your child know that you are looking forward to doing something special
together. Sit down with your youngest and come up with some ideas of how you
are going to spend this time together. Don’t be surprised if your little one
is no longer scared and sad about the older children going off to school…..
but instead these feelings are replaced with excitement. Your younger child
will probably be thrilled to have some alone time with you.
Realize the feelings that the child left behind might be feeling
– There are a ton of feelings your youngest might be feeling about the older
siblings going off to school. Be prepared for them and it will make this transition
for you and the younger child easier. Some of the feelings your youngest might
be feeling are…
- Fear
- Anxiety
- Sadness
- Excitement
- Stress
- Worry
- Loneliness
And these are just some of the many, many feelings your child might be
feeling. Make the transition easier by talking with your youngest child
about their older siblings going off to school. Let them know whatever feelings
they are having about it are understandable and that they can always come
to you with whatever they are feeling and you will help get them through
it.
Plan the Days out for your Little one – Children love structure
and don’t like change. When older children go to school and leave the littlest
one at home that is a change of structure for your little one. It is very
scary. Adding structure back into their life will help your little one feel
more secure and less stressed during this transition. They love to know what
they could expect next. So, plan away….. and include your youngest one in
the planning process. It will get them more excited about the time to come.
Start a School for your Child at Home – Your child might
feel left out when the older children go back to school. Why not start them
in a school of their own as well. There are Preschool Curriculums out their
that are perfect for teaching your young Preschooler at home. Just make sure
to choose the right Preschool
Curriculum for your Child. And, don’t forget to name the School. Giving
your at home school a name will make it more official and special for your
little one.

Yes, this time can be very stressful and sad for your little one, but it doesn’t
have to be. With a little planning and preparing it can be a happy and
exciting transition for your little one.

Top image by Pink
Sherbet

8 Ways to Raise a Thankful Child

TheNanny612 — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 02:20:13 +0000

Image by Lachlan
Hardy

In today’s
modern world of gimme, gimme, gimme – raising an appreciative, well-rounded
child can seem like a difficult task. However, with just a few simple changes
it is easier than you might imagine. Read on to find our eight, resourceful
ways to raise a thankful child. It is the perfect secret weapon for the holiday
season and bey

Participate
in a local food drive
Help him
go through his old
toy bins and donate a few to charity
Help your child create handmade thank you notes for holiday gifts
they receive

Pick a child
from a charity tree and let your child pick out the gifts
Be an at-home
volunteer to charities such as Hugs
and Hope
Teach
him the value of a dollar with a weekly allowance earned for chores
Have him spend
a portion of that money on a friend or donate it to your church
Love him to
bits . . . giving him plenty to be thankful for

Remember, even when
you don’t think you are getting through, little drops of knowledge that
you think are washing right off those ears, somewhere along the line sink in.
We promise you; someday you will wake up and realize . . . You did a pretty
amazing job

Children and Prejudice – Teach your Child the Natural Way

TheNanny612 — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 18:54:24 +0000

Have you ever been
in the awkward position of having your child make a prejudiced statement
in front of other parents? This is mortifying for most adults because they want
others to believe that they are teaching their children right from wrong when
it comes to the important issue of prejudice in our society. But when you step
away from the situation and get your ego out of the picture, you’ll usually
find that your child had no bad intentions and that the statement doesn’t
actually reflect poorly on your social teaching skills. Instead, it reflects
on the fact that your young child is noticing differences in the people around
her and she wants to know what that’s all about. Each opportunity that
comes up – whether awkward or simply mundane – should be thought
of as an opportunity to teach your children about prejudice.

Children
who start learning about prejudice in a natural way when they are young
are less likely to exhibit prejudice in their own behavior. This
is because it is just common sense to them that all people are to be treated
equally. But this can’t be achieved by pretending that all people
are the same. While we may all be equal, there are obvious differences that
your kids are going to notice. The color of skin, gender of bodies and texture
of hair vary from person to person and it makes sense to acknowledge that
difference. If you don’t, then your kids aren’t going to take
much that you say seriously because it’s going to appear that you’re
blind to the world around you. So, instead of teaching your children that
we’re all the same, you should be teaching them that our differences
don’t matter.

This sounds like
a big task that involves a lot of moral conversations with your kids. While
those will eventually come up, the task of teaching children about prejudice
is really an ongoing thing that you don’t need to stress out about. It
happens every time that you teach your children about differences (“daddy’s
a boy and mommy’s a girl”) and every time you encourage fairness
amongst people in a group (including your own kids). These basic lessons
that you’re already teaching your kids are going to be the foundation
for helping them to avoid prejudice later on.

While parents may
find it awkward when their kids make seemingly prejudice statements, they find
it outright horrifying when their own children are the victims of prejudice.
This happens especially as your kids get older and start going to school with
a divers group of people. When it does, you have to be sure to work first on
restoring your child’s self esteem. Prejudice is confusing for
children and it’s your job to explain that it happens and that
it is about the person who is being prejudiced, not about your child. At the
same time, you need to encourage acceptance of all people, even the prejudiced
person, while not condoning the behavior. Every time that you teach
your child to stand up for herself as well as to stand up for others who are
being victimized, you teach your child how to cope with prejudice in
a mature manner.

Technorati Tags:prejudice, children, kids, social skills, people, education

Getting Children to Eat their Vegetables

TheNanny612 — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 02:32:05 +0000

As long as children have
been defying their parents, the battle about eating their vegetables has been
a regular part of the dinner table routine. For some families, this gets so
bad that dinnertime is uncomfortable for everyone. You don’t want it to
be this way for your family. Meals should be a fun time when the family spends
time together. But of course you still want your kids to eat their vegetables.
So, how do you do it without causing tears of frustration to ruin your supper?

Here are
some Do’s and Don’ts for getting children to eat their vegetables:

Do
involve your children
in helping with preparation and/or serving of the vegetables at mealtime.
When kids feel involved, they feel helpful and proud. And if they’re
proud of the meal, they’ll want to eat it. Reinforce this by commenting
on how good the vegetables are that children helped prepare.
Don’t
get angry.
If you make eating vegetables a power struggle, you’re going to
lose every time. Even if your children ultimately eat their vegetables,
the resulting frustration and upset feelings will make the problems
continue on in a bad cycle.

Don’t
use food as either punishment or reward
for anything. This adds to the power struggle problems of meals that can make
eating vegetables a chore.
Do praise
your children when they eat vegetables.
You don’t have to make a big deal out of it but you should point it
out in a positive way.
Do give
choices of two different vegetables so that your children can select
the one that they like better. Variety is the spice of life after all. Plus,
the choices will make it an issue of “which” vegetable to eat
not “whether” to eat the vegetables.
Don’t
make your children eat vegetables that they really don’t like.
If they have a few that they do like and they’re getting their nutritional
needs met, don’t stress the issue of trying new vegetables. There will
be time for that as your children get older.
Do change
the colors and shapes of vegetables
to make them more appealing for kids. Cookie cutters and food coloring do
wonders for making vegetables more enticing, especially if the children help
with making them.
Don’t be
afraid to let your kids have a little bit of dip or sauce for their
vegetables as long as you don’t overdo it.
Do stay
calm and upbeat about the situation. The situation doesn’t
have to upset you so don’t let it.
Do set
a good example for your kids
by maintaining a healthy diet yourself.

Believe it or not, your picky
eaters will eventually start to like eating their vegetables. In the meantime,
you need to set a good example and maintain a low key attitude about the situation.
If you really can’t get your children to eat their vegetables and every
meal ends in frustration, work some vitamins in to their diet so they don’t
lack their nutritional needs and wait for a little time to pass before trying
again.

Technorati Tags:kids, food, picky eaters, children, preschoolers, toddlers, parenting, nutrition

How To Improve Your Preschooler’s Listening Skills

TheNanny612 — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 23:19:49 +0000

It is infuriating
when it feels like your child ignores the directions that you have given. As
a parent, it’s frustrating to feel like your child doesn’t have
the listening skills that she needs to be able to understand, remember and act
upon what you have told her. But this is a normal part of the development process
and one of the reasons that parents of preschoolers require wells of patience
in order to assist their children in growing up with normal, healthy development.
You not only want to teach your child good listening skills so that she can
do what you say needs to be done but you also want to make sure she has those
skills so that she will do well in school, get along with peers and be able
to engage in appropriate social behavior in groups.

Here are some tips
to improve your preschooler’s listening skills and to get her well on
the way to being able to understand what’s said to her and to act upon
it appropriately.

Encourage
your preschooler to repeat your directions.
For example, when you say, “please pick up your toys” and
your child doesn’t move, ask her what you just said. This will
eventually became a habit that your child does internally, repeating
instructions in her mind once they are said and then acting on them.
Engage
your child in step-based activities like cooking or origami.
You can read directions to your child and then show her how to act them
out. This can hone listening skills in the context of every day activities,
such as cooking.

LISTENING
SKILLS FOR YOUNG CHILDREN-EARLY CHILDHOOD
Price: $24.47 USD

Model
good listening skills.
Often, when our preschoolers babble on about their days, we go on automatic
pilot with our responses. Model good listening skills by paying attention
to the stories that your child tells you and asking engaging questions
about them.
Play
listening games with your child. Simon Says is a common listening
game which requires children to pay attention to the words being said.
Many computer games are now available which can help you with this.
Play
rhyming games.
Rhyming is something which requires listening skills because your child
has to work to identify sounds that sound the same. As your preschooler
gets old enough to recognize rhymes, rhyming games will help with developing
those listening skills.
Read
aloud to your child every single day.
Reading to your children helps them on many different levels, including
improving their listening skills. Engage your child in the reading process
to make sure that she is actively listening. You can do this by asking
questions, having her add on to the story or seeing if she can memorize
parts of her favorite tales.
Show
your child how to use all of her senses. Explain about the
five senses and give her ample opportunity to use each of them. For
example, at the zoo you can ask your child what she sees, smells, and
hears from certain animals. This will not only give her good listening
skills but will hone her other senses and help her to develop a greater
capacity for attention to details.
Talk
with your child.
Simply engaging in regular conversation with you on a regular basis
will teach your child listening skills.
Use
multi-step directions. When your preschooler is young, you
often have to direct her with single-step tasks such as “pick
up your toys”. As she gets older, you can add multi-step tasks
(“pick up your toys and then put your shoes on”) so that
she can develop the attention to listening to multi-step directions
and following them.

Listening
skills are something that your child is going to use for the rest of her
life. They will be the cornerstone of communication in positive relationships,
the basis for strong academic skills and the foundation of her ability
to work with others in all situations. Bear in mind that it’s part
of your job as a parent to exercise patience in teaching her these skills
so that she can be a better listener for the rest of her life.

Technorati Tags: listening+skills, improving+listening+skills, child, kids, children, parening, communicating, boys, girls, preschoolers

Teaching Your Child to Deal with a Bully

TheNanny612 — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 16:12:41 +0000

You feel like your
worst nightmare has come to pass. Another child in your preschooler’s
life has started to bully him or her and you’re not sure what to do about
it. On the one hand, you want to teach your child to stick up for himself and
to handle things alone. On the other, you want to intervene and stop the bullying
before it gets out of hand. You have no idea what to do. And the worst part
is that the situation brings out all of your feelings of helplessness as you
begin to realize that you are not going to be able to protect your child from
the world.

Relax. This
isn’t your worst nightmare. And although it’s a difficult
situation which must be dealt with carefully, it’s certainly one
that you’re capable of managing. It’s true that you can’t
protect your kids from the horrors of the world, but you can use every
opportunity as a learning example for giving your child the skills necessary
to deal with the difficult situations that the world will bring to you.
And teaching your child how to deal with bullies is one step in that learning
process.

The
Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School–How
Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence

The first
thing that you need to do is get your own feelings of helplessness under
control. Parents often feel an immediate protective urge towards children
who are bullying their kids and this can sometimes lead to negative situations
in which parents react poorly to the bullies. Since you are obviously
bigger and older than the child bully, you actually perpetuate the problem
if you handle it poorly because your child sees that the bigger, stronger,
older person wins. Instead, take a moment to relax and handle the situation
appropriately. Remember that the child bully probably has a reason that
he or she needs to assert such power over your child and remember that
you’re the adult and these are the children.

Be supportive
of your child and help to give your child a sense of empowerment so that
he or she can deal with the bully. This means talking with your child
about the situation, encouraging him or her to come up with some solutions
to the problem and discussing appropriate ways to handle the situation.
Simply having an open, loving and safe environment in which to solve the
problem can help your child immensely in dealing with the bully. Consider
reasonable solutions to the problem and teach your child how to enact
those solutions. For example, verbally confronting the bully is one option.
Teach your child to appropriately say, with confidence, “you may
not treat me this way”.

If your child
can not cope with the bullying on his or her own after strategizing and
working to solve the problem, you may need to intervene. This is particularly
true if your child is being physically harmed or is too frightened to
attend preschool or otherwise engage in normal social activities. It is
best if your child can deal with the bully alone, but if that’s
not possible, you must protect your child. Doing so means handling the
situation appropriately in a manner which doesn’t diminish your
child’s abilities to handle the situation. Having your child discuss
the situation with a teacher at the preschool or another authority figure
in a position to help can get the trouble under control while still allowing
your child to exercise some power in the situation.

Remember that
the best attack against bullying is to teach your child preventative measures
from an early age. Help your child to develop self-esteem so that he or
she does not allow him (or her) self to be bullied. Also teach your child
to handle problems (such as issues in sharing with other kids) on his
or her own with appropriate behavior. And always create an environment
in which your child feels safe to come discuss the problems that he or
she may be having with others and to problem solve about them with you.

Taking
the Bully by the Horns – Children’s Version of the Best Selling Book,
"Nasty People"

Technorati Tags: bully,
child+bully,
bullies, kids,
children, family,
parenting,
school, preschool,
neighbors,
self, confidence

Chores For Preschool Kids

TheNanny612 — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 01:52:28 +0000

Should your preschooler be required to do chores? At what age are chores appropriate for your kids? And
how do you go about delegating chores to your preschooler? These are all questions
that parents often face as they try to teach their kids about responsibility
in the home. Parents should know that dealing with these questions is something
that other parents are going through as well and that you’ll find the
right answers for your family.

Here are some of the basic
things to know for getting preschool kids started on chores:

Chores
help your child to develop a sense of responsibility but also have
other important functions. They increase a child’s self-esteem
because he or she is rewarded by a job well done. Chores also help
the child to feel like a participating member of the family.
Children
are developmentally ready to handle small chores around the house
starting around the age of two.

You should
start
with asking your child to do only one daily chore. Allow him or her
to master that chore before adding additional chores. For example,
you may want to start with having your preschooler pick up his or
her own toys. If it is the child’s chore to pick up the toys
before bed, then this skill can be done daily and mastered before
a new chore is added to the routine.
Let your
child pick new daily chores as time goes on. You can have an activity
with your preschooler in which you work together to identify the chores
that he or she can do. These may include laying out clothes for the
next day, picking up toys, stacking books in the family room, helping
with pets, wiping down tables or other small age-appropriate chores.
Letting your child choose form a list will help your preschooler to
feel like the chores are part of being in the family.
Have
realistic expectations about what chores your preschooler can do.
Remember that he or she needs to have specific instructions and may
need reminders. Also, know that your preschooler isn’t going
to do the job as well as you are; that’s not the point. The
point is for your preschooler to do the job to the best of his or
her ability.
Use a
reward system. Children are more interested in doing chores when they
can see their accomplishments. Having a chart with stickers marking
completed chores can make the daily chores a fun thing to do.
Use a
step-by-step chart for detailed chores. As your child adds new chores
and gets into the older preschool years and has the ability to do
more complicated chores, a step-by-step chart showing what needs to
be done can help your child with chores. The child can look at a pictorial
step-by-step chart to figure out what to do without your assistance,
making him or her feel more important and self-reliant.

When chores
are introduced in the early years, using a positive reinforcement or reward
system and are considered to be part of what your family does together as
a family unit, your child develops a healthy attitude towards doing chores
and helping around the house. How you do this will differ depending on your
family’s needs but know that preschool chores are certainly a positive
part of your child’s development of both self and sense of responsibility.

Technorati Tags: chores, household+chores, kids, children, family, parenting, age, child, development, toddler, preschooler

Establishing Healthy Bedtime Routines

TheNanny612 — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 05:04:01 +0000

Bedtime. Does the very word
strike fear into your heart? Don’t worry; you aren’t alone. Many
parents dread the nightly bedtime ritual. This is especially true for parents
of preschoolers who are worried about leaving their children alone in the night
but getting a little bit desperate for some rest of their own. Establishing
healthy bedtime routines can help make that part of the night go more smoothly.
In fact, healthy bedtime routines can even make getting ready for bed a fun
family activity. Believe it or not, bedtime doesn’t have to be bad time.

The first thing
that you should know about establishing bedtime routines for your family
is that there is no “right” way to do this. What you need to
do is figure out what is going to work best for your family, given your
particular schedule and needs and then to work out a routine that makes
sense around that. Since all families eat dinner at different times, have
different homework and activities needs for older children and go to bed
at different times, the specifics of what your family will do for their
bedtime routines will depend on those factors.

The phrase
to keep in mind when establishing your bedtime routines is “wind
down”. The idea is that you are going to spend the several hours
before bedtime winding down with your children, creating a relaxed atmosphere
that is inviting to sleep. Additionally, you will be creating habits that
are done in the same order every night (or at least regularly) so that
your child will get adjusted to doing certain activities and following
them with sleep. This combination of winding down and creating a predictable
pattern that ends in sleep leads to healthy bedtime routines that make
the night easy for everyone.

In general,
bedtime routines begin with the time period just after dinner. It is at
this point in the night that you will want to start thinking about winding
down. Some families have a short period of high-energy activity after
dinner (outside play, for example) whereas others go straight into wind
down time. Whether or not you engage in that high-energy activity to get
your kids energy out, this period is followed by quiet activities such
as watching TV or videos, coloring, or reading together.

This is also
the time during which you will do your nightly family activities that
all lead up to bedtime. Chores may happen at this time. Bath time, brushing
teeth and getting into pajamas will all follow. Families with young children
usually then have a routine which involves spending time in the child’s
room. Taking the child to bed and reading a story there, sharing thoughts
about the day or otherwise quietly engaging in activity in the room together
will be the final thing that your family does together as part of the
nightly routine.

Some parents
remain in the room with their children until they fall asleep. Others have
lights out at a certain time and then the parents proceed to their own nighttime
activities. What works for your family may depend on the age and needs of
your child, your parenting techniques and your own nighttime activities.
Just remember that you’re establishing a routine that will let your
children wind down and know that bedtime is approaching. This should prevent
a lot of the problems which make bedtime “bad time” for some
families.

Technorati Tags: bed+time+routine, bed+time, kids+bed+time, children’s+bed+time, child, kids, children,, sleep, behavior,, parenting, schedule

How To Stop Your Preschooler From Thumb Sucking

TheNanny612 — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 06:16:42 +0000

Thumb sucking is an issue
of concern for many parents right around the time that kids are entering preschool
age. As babies, it’s not an issue. In fact, many parents feel that it’s
good for their pre-teeth youngsters because it comforts them, helps them to
fall asleep and can ease the pain of teething. But as kids get older and those
teeth are coming in, it’s necessary for parents to intervene to deter
their children from sucking their thumbs. Continued thumb sucking in these older
years can cause dental problems and it is therefore recommended that you break
the habit entirely by the time that the child is kindergarten age.

Stopping your preschooler
from thumb sucking can be a difficult thing. For one thing, you don’t
want to take away what you know is a source of comfort for your child. For another,
you admittedly don’t want to listen to your child’s cries as he
or she adjusts to not sucking his or her thumb. But you also want to make sure
that you’re doing what is best for your child and the sooner that you
get him or her out of the habit of thumb sucking, the better it will be for
all of you.

Here are some tips for ending
the thumb sucking:

Distraction. Neither of
you wants your child to be upset so instead of drawing attention to the thumb
sucking and making it a “bad” thing that you’re trying to
stop, actively distract your child from thumb sucking by giving him or her
alternative activities which require both the child’s attention and
the use of both hands. Doing this on a regular basis will diminish the thumb
sucking over time in a pleasant manner.
Educate. Explain why thumb
sucking is bad for your child as he or she gets older. Point out all of the
things that babies do that your child no longer does and describe why thumb
sucking is the same kind of issue.
Make it a game. There
are many ways that you can help turn the process of ending thumb sucking into
a game. You can make up a secret word that you and your child use for thumb
sucking so it’s fun to talk about. You can have signals that you use
to remind your child that he or she is thumb sucking so that the behavior
will be noticed and stopped. Anything that allies you and your child against
the thumb sucking in a fun way will work in your favor.
Make it unpleasant. One
of the most commonly used methods of stopping your preschooler from thumb
sucking is the application of products to the thumb which are unpleasant tasting.
There are household products (such as vinegar) as well as store-bought products
that can be used in this manner.
Relax. If you make this
an issue over which you battle with your child then you’re going to
increase the stress in the household and prolong the process of stopping thumb
sucking.
Reward change. Your preschooler
loves it when she’s rewarded, even if it’s just with your praise.
When you notice that he or she has stopped thumb sucking, comment positively
on the action.
Use steps. Start young
with ending the thumb sucking and you have more room to go slowly with the
process. Start with discussing thumb sucking with your child and point out
that he or she will do this less and less as time goes on and the child grows
up. Begin with working on not thumb sucking in public, then go on to reserving
thumb sucking only for nighttime and naps and finally you can end it all together.

Thumb sucking is a natural
part of your child’s development and will likely go away almost as naturally
as it started. With your help, the process can be done sooner in order to prevent
dental problems and other issues associated with late thumb sucking. Take the
process in stride and trust your ability to get through this stage and you and
your child should be fine.

Technorati Tags: thumb+sucking, stop+thumb+sucking, quit+sucking+thumb, bad+habits, child, children, kids, preschoolers, parenting

Understanding Your Preschooler’s Imaginary Friends

TheNanny612 — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 03:02:36 +0000

We are always wondering if
our children are “normal”. We don’t mean to do it, but nevertheless,
it’s something that we do all of the time. From the time that we first
count those ten toes and ten fingers, we’re subconsciously (or consciously)
comparing our kids to some ideal standard of what is “normal” and
wondering how they measure up. And when it comes to areas of life that aren’t
so easy to understand, we often have trouble figuring out what’s “normal”
and how to deal with it. Often, this is the case when it comes to imaginary
friends.

We wonder if it is “normal”
for our kids to have imaginary friends. Of course it is. But at what age does
it stop being normal? Or what behaviors in interacting with these imaginary
friends are not normal? We worry, because we want our kids to have a healthy
level of social and emotional development. Here are some things to think about
which can help you alleviate those concerns:

It is
absolutely “normal”
(meaning common) for children to have imaginary friends.
Imaginary
friends
usually turn up in a child’s life during the preschool years and often
fade out of the child’s life during elementary school.
Imaginary
friends
are more common among first born children and only children and may reflect
the child’s desire to have increased interaction with other children.
Preschool groups can assist with this.
Imaginary
friends represent the creative side of your child’s brain so
you should never discourage your child from healthy exploration of this part
of life.
Children
often keep their imaginary friends to themselves. While it’s appropriate
to ask questions about the imaginary friend to ascertain what your child believes
about the situation, you shouldn’t pretend to interact or play with
your child’s imaginary friends unless your child invites you to do so.

If you’re still having
concerns that your child’s experience with an imaginary friend isn’t
normal, here are some warning signs for negative play with imaginary friends.

Your
child
regularly refuses to play with other children and only wants to play with
the imaginary friend.
Your
child’s
imaginary friends linger into the older elementary school years.
The imaginary
friend
is introduced into play with other friends who make fun of your child.
Your
child
acts out behavior with the imaginary friend which is violent, sexual in nature
or otherwise indicative of an underlying problem. In this case, your child
may be using the imaginary friend to try to tell you something that he or
she can’t tell you alone.

As a general rule, it’s
perfectly “normal” for your preschooler to have imaginary friends.
They help your child exercise his or her imagination and provide additional
stimulation during playtime. And of course, all children develop differently
so your child’s interaction and length of time spent with the imaginary
friend may vary from that of other children of the same age. As long as you
don’t see any of the above warnings signs, you can probably assume that
the imaginary friends are a fun phase that your child will pass as he or she
begins to enter elementary school age.

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