There was a time
when learning about “stranger danger” was practically a part of
growing up. Public service announcements, classes in schools and parents across
the nation feared that their kids were going to be abducted by strangers and
felt that teaching them about the dangers of strangers was crucial to keeping
them safe. That’s no longer the case today because adults have come to
realize that much of the harm that comes to kids happens at the hands of people
who aren’t strangers at all. But there’s still that bit of danger
which comes with not teaching kids about the risks of associating with strangers.
So how do we handle this problem in the modern world?
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Parents |
This helps to eliminate the
confusion of “stranger danger”. The main problem with the old campaign
was that kids had trouble identifying who a stranger in their lives was. They
saw the janitor at dad’s work every time they went in there so they didn’t
think that he was the scary stranger. Or the true stranger in the park would
introduce himself by name and kids would think that meant that he wasn’t
a stranger anymore. By teaching your children less about the specifics of who
is a stranger and instead teaching them to come talk to you before they talk
to someone, you reduce this confusion.
Establish a pattern for your
children which they can follow to keep them safe. Explain to them that they
need to check with you before spending time with anyone. This means that they’ll
ask you before they walk down the street to grandma’s house, you’ll
know which friend they are on the playground with and you’ll be able to
get a good glimpse at the stranger who just approached your child at the park.
At all levels, this type of interaction with your child keeps her safe from
others, strangers and all, because you know where she is and who she is with.
More importantly, this pattern
helps to keep you in regular communication with your child. By having your child
come to you for permission to spend time with others, you teach your child about
how to discern who is and isn’t appropriate to spend time with. It may
be life-saving when she is young in that she will be less likely to wander off
with an abductor but it can also be life-saving when she is a teen and she comes
to you to discuss the pros and cons of dating a certain boy. The pattern will
extend to many lessons about human interaction, not just the immediate threat
of “stranger danger”.
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