The first thing I suggest you do is very important. Remember, our children are who they had in mind when they coined the phrase "monkey see monkey do". Trust Yourself! It's okay to do it your way. There're three components to raising happy kids, diabetic or not. They are Self-Confidence, Self-Reliance, an Self-Control. The more of these components your monkeys see in you, the more of these components you will see in your monkeys! I'm going to put out some ideas here but you're the boss of your situation. Do it your way.
Upon reading the three components you might ask "but where is self esteem?" I'll save that particular ramble for another day. Let me just assure you that if your child has self-confidence, self-reliance, and self-control then self-esteem comes naturally.
What is Self-Confidence? Self-Confidence is:
Trusting your ability to form and sustain relationships
Trusting your ability to complete various tasks well, knowing that others value your abilities
Trusting your ability to manage new siuations
Trusting your own judgements and common sense
As you can see trust is a key element of self-confidence. When our children don't have that measure of consistency and predictability in their lives it becomes difficult for them to gain the necessary trust either in themselves or in others to become self-confident. So if our children see that the people who are most important to them (us as parents) trust them and will provide them with a consistant environment, they will begin to trust themselves, their judgements, and those of the people around them. This is the beginning of common sense.(Yahoo!)
How do our children acquire Self-Confidence? Self-Confidence comes from:
Being accepted for who you are
Having someone show confidence in you
Knowing there is something you are good at
Having firm expectations of other people's behavior
Not being afraid of failure
Developing competence with the saftey of a parent close by
Seeing others you admire and copy, being confident and happy
It seems so easy when you write it down. When you think about it three main components have to be in place: Trust and Predictability, competence, and sociability.
Trust and Predictability - We all know that routines are important for developing feelings of trust and security. Think about the routines and relationships between you and your family and friends. How much do they keep to a pattern? Will your child begin each day with a reasonably clear idea of what will happen and when?
Competence - Being good at things. We all have different talents and abilities. We need to help our children identify the things they are good at and encourage them. These skills fall into a couple of different catagories.
Practical: Seeing how to make or mend things, and build things
Physical: Good at sports, kicking or catching a ball, swimming, running
Mental: Good ideas about things, good at solving practical problems, good at schoolwork
Social: Good at playing with others, kind and considerate, good at making new friends
Process: Being good at tying new things, sticking with difficult tasks and so on
Sociability - Trust and develope their social skills. Involve them moderately in your social life. If we have our children with us it shows not only are we happy to have them with us but also that we trust they will behave appropriately. Getting used to being in new situations, and learning to talk to different people will increase our children's confidence considerably. Here's one that took me a while to figure out. Give your child advance warning of your feelings, of short temper, tiredness, sadness, or whatever. "I've had a lousy day at work and I'm very crabby. It might be smart to keep your head down and your mouth shut." Or "I've had an argument with so and so and I'm feeling hurt. If I'm short with you I'm sorry." This not only teaches them techniques for managing their own feelings, but gives them a chance to learn sensitivity to the feelings and moods of others. These are essential social skills not only for now but for later on in life.
Our children will develope self-confidence only if we have first shown trust and confidence in them and have given them an environment where they can predict and trust. Diabetes and all of the unpredictability, feelings of powerlessness, and exclusion that sometimes go with it just make this process that much more difficult. I look at it like if it was easy any idiot could do it. Well, we're not just any idiot. We're special idiots. We have been entrusted with the care and upbringing of a diabetic child. So remember you are a special person entrusted with a very special task. Trust yourself. It's okay to do it your way.
In the next issue I'll take a look at Self-Reliance.
Russell Turner is the father of a 10 year old diabetic daughter. After she was diagnosed he soon discovered he could find all sorts of medical information on the internet. What he couldn't find was how to prepare his child and family for living with this disease. He started his own website for parents of newly diagnosed diabetic children http://www.mychildhasdiabetes.com
The Days of the week can be very
complicated for a Preschooler to learn. Sure, you can keep reminding them
every day what day it is [...]
Everyone’s families are different. Some families have a mom, dad and one child.
Some families have many children. Some families have pets and some families
have their extended families living with them…. such as grandparents or Aunts
and Uncles.
This post will be about Families and how everyone’s families are [...]
Teaching your Children to Give - What to do with those Old Toys
Right after the Holidays or after your Children’s Birthday can be an excellent
time to start teaching your children the benefits of helping the less
fortunate people. Sometime children become very selfish. They have
a roof over [...]
Some of my fondest memories growing up is baking with my mom and my sister.
Yes, it was messy and time consuming and probably very stressful, but my mother
made sure to bake with the kids year after year.
So, just like my mother I bake with my children every year. Here [...]
Hanukkah is less than two weeks away. And, if your kids are anything like my
kids they are getting super duper excited about it. Sometimes it can be difficult
to keep your children’s energy focused in the correct area when they are this
excited. Hanukkah Puzzles are one way [...]
Thanksgiving is just days away. And, there is nothing that could get your kids
excited about the Thanksgiving Holiday than to get them doing some fun Thanksgiving
crafts. And, these ones are not only fun, but easy. The kids will use the shape
of their hands to make all [...]
Yesterday I gave you plenty of “All About Me” Preschool Activities that you can do with your children to help
teach them about themselves in the Physical sense. Everybody is unique, but
it goes deeper than just the Physical sense…. such as our senses. Today I
am going to [...]
It might surprise you to know that many children think that what they
enjoy…. everyone enjoys. And, what makes them happy….
makes everyone happy. And, what they find fun…. everyone
would find fun. It’s true. So, today I am going to write about different
projects that [...]
One of Children’s favorite Holidays is Halloween. And, what’s not to like?
There is candy, decorations, walking around the neighborhood at night, and of
course….. getting dressed up. But, what always happens is that the child lands
up wearing a costume that many other children are wearing as well. [...]
One of my children’s favorite type of art is Crayon Scratch Art. My children
love to scratch their way to creative fun artwork….. and I wouldn’t be surprised
if your children would love it as well. I have compiled a list of wonderful
pages online that offer tutorials and [...]